People Pleasing Is Not The Problem, Your Motives Are.

The phrase “people pleasing” has a bad reputation. Just saying it immediately invokes a negative feeling. I do not know of anyone who wants to be known as a “people pleaser”. It makes us feel weak, easily influenced and like a doormat.

But what if I say people pleasing isn’t the problem, it’s your intentions behind it?

To please someone is to do something that will bring them joy and satisfaction. There are many things in society that encourages us to make our loved ones (and strangers) feel appreciated, cherished and happy while expecting nothing in return:

• Gift Giving (birthdays, anniversaries, religious holidays)
• Paying it forward eg. Pay for the person in line at the coffee shop behind you
• Donating to the less fortunate
• Volunteering your time to charities

I’m going to assume that at some point in your life you did at least one of the above and felt fulfilled.

So what’s the difference with doing the above and “people pleasing”? Nothing. What makes it questionable is the intention behind it. So if:

• You are allowing your co workers, bosses, people in leadership roles at work to walk all over you
• If you see something…